Stories

 

                        The Love Drop Story by RGH

The first characters in this are a cloud, some rain, and an umbrella. The cloud was floating over

Melbourne Florida, and then started to rain. One of the rain droplets landed on the umbrella, and

many others as well, but this particular rain drop fell in love with a droplet of water on the rim of a cup that was under the umbrella. The umbrella wasn’t very special, just regular colors: red, yellow, and blue, but it serves its purpose in this story. Of course, the umbrella was owned by a person, but the person was in the ocean by the beach. Whereas the umbrella held our rain droplet. Now, the rain droplet wanted desperately to get to her love the cup droplet, but she couldn’t move from the umbrella. Plus, she and others were afraid of the big rain droplets at the top of the umbrella, because they might eat the smaller ones. If you ever saw raindrops on a car window, you might see the big droplets eat the smaller ones. Our rain droplet didn’t know what to do. Meanwhile, up on a cloud lived the wind. He had a face and mane like a lion and a big neck like a puffer fish. When he saw the rain droplets’ plea to see her love, he puffed up his neck and blew a gust, a gale, a zephyr, but most of all a big wind. Slowly, the rain droplet rolled down the umbrella and was aiming for the cup, for the cup droplet. At long last, she landed on the rim of the cup where her beloved was waiting for her. All day, the rain droplet

and the cup droplet told each other how much they loved each other. Later on, however, the person who owned the umbrella and the cup took a slurp from his cup. Fortunately, the two droplets were at the top of the cup and were missed. Little by little, though, the

person ended up drinking the rain droplet and the cup droplet. A month later, when the person got an x-ray right near his heart was a smaller heart made up of a rain droplet and a cup droplet.

 

 

 

The Seed Story by RGH

Danny Shapiro lived in a small town in Maine. He worked at a small shop near the

border of the lake. He sold seeds. Now, some people might’ve thought that was boring,

but without the seed, the people of Maine wouldn’t have carrots, pumpkins,

eggplants, or peas. Through this store however, there wasn’t one banana seed.

Well, one day a British family came to Maine, and with them their son, Donovan

McCamil. He was a spoiled type and only required the best. Never would he take

something coarse or common. When he and his family settled in Maine, his mother

gave him a quarter. “Use this on anything you like.” she told him. So, Donovan went

off with his change, and whenever he passed by someone, he held his nose in the air.

No one noticed. No one cared. All the stores he passed by were too coarse and too

common for his pocket, but then he came to Danny Shapiro’s store. He admired its

pretty wallpaper, pink with orange suns. The roof was covered in moss which shooed

away its regular brown color. “Jiminy!” exclaimed Donovan, “I’d better spend my

change on a licorice stick I there.” When he got inside though, he was horrified.

On the inside, it was all dark with sunlight through cracks. Seed packets hung on

little hooks, on shelves, in shelves, and even in a big pot. On one shelf was a squirrel

eating discarded seeds. A sparrow was eating the ones left on the floor. “Ick! There’s

nothing here for me!” He turned to leave when he heard, “Maybe there ais maybe

there ain’t!” Donovan turned a corner and there at his desk was Danny Shapiro.

He wasn’t exactly handsome, but he wasn’t a monster. He was a very big man with

gray hair. His eyes were a bit too close together. He had hair on his arms and brown

pantaloons. His purple shirt had dirt on it, but he didn’t mind. Donovan was stumped.

Mr. Shapiro said, “This ol’ place has somethin’ fer everyone and I always have been

givin’ them out, seeds.” Donovan snorted, “Who wants a bunch of mangy seeds?”

Mr. Shapiro got up and said, “Well…” and jumped into the air and landed in Donovan’s

Hand….as a seed! This frightened him and wondered if this was a trick. Suddenly, he       

heard Danny’s voice, “Plant me besides the lake.” Donovan McCamil was very surprised, but

he did what he was told. When the seed was buried, he heard Mr. Shapiro’s voice say, “Now

cup some stream water in your hands and water me.” Donovan did, and he watched the spot.

Even as the night came, he watched. Even as the rains of the next day came, he watched. When

the rain stopped; a tree began to grow. Not slowly like a regular tree, but like the beanstalk

in the tale of Jack. Donovan watched in awe as the leaves grew, and the fruit grew. It was a

banana tree, the first one grown in Maine for years. Then, Shapiro’s voice boomed, “Now

eat one.” So, Donovan plucked a banana down and ate it. Just then, he felt a hand on his

shoulder. When he turned around there was ol’ Danny Shapiro. “The people want these

‘mangy old’ seeds because of the reward inside them.” Then, Donovan felt ashamed. He

called a precious gift mangy and didn’t really think about it. Suddenly, he was back in the

store. There was Danny at his desk. Donovan said, “I’ll buy some seeds…” he grabbed a

packet of spinach seeds and paid Mr. Shapiro with his quarter. When he got home, his

Mother asked, “And what type of high-tone thing did you buy?” Donovan smiled and said,

“Something so precious, no candy or toy could replace it.” As for the banana tree, Mr.

Shapiro sold its fruit to the people of the town. They didn’t know what they were, but

Mr. Shapiro only smiled and said, “They sure are big bananas.”

The Birdboat Trip by RGH

 I’ll tell you a fine tale about three birds who took a boat trip they would never forget! It all started with a brown bird with a snipe beak that curved named Max, and if you thought he was fond of dangerous missions and death-defying journeys, you are dead wrong! He merely wanted to spend his time on a relaxing cruise and satisfy his yen for seeing foreign places in a peaceful way, sight-seeing and what not. Max, one day, had a great idea! Since he was a good long way from cruises and docks, he would start his own cruise by a humble nearby lake! To boost his good fortune, some silly man on the other side of the river let his rowboat sail all the way to his Max’s side of the river! So, Max stood by his new prize awaiting passengers to join him in his new business. The first to come was a spoonbill named Reggie, a most inquisitive chap who was amazed to think a bird could ever own a boat! He, like Max, was interested in seeing faraway places and asked, “Sir, if I may say so, how far do you suppose this pickled herring could travel?” Max answered proudly, “Clear across the world and back! This cruise boat is perhaps the finest vessel I clapped an eye on,” to which Reggie put in, “Sir, this is too small to be a cruise boat,” and Max responded, “Then this shall be patented the Birdboat!” They were still talking when a second passenger joined Reggie, an owl named Betty. She was a baby-faced owl who never did or own anything coarse or common, which certainly seemed like a let-down when she saw Max’s cruise was a mere rowboat. “You plan to sail across the world on that piece of apparatus?” she snorted, “Why I have seen and recently been on better and bolder ships and vessels that went around the world for one day!” Max’s morale wasn’t put down a bit [or else he didn’t understand a word she said], “Ma’am I assure you that this voyage is a peaceful voyage! Why those on cruise ships are in more danger than we would ever be! The world sits in a quiet solitude for our birdboat!” Betty shrugged her shoulders as Reggie [anxious to start the voyage] called out impatiently, “Let us start the voyage at once!” Max was in agreement. “Well,” Betty sighed, “I suppose I’ll go, but I have still seen better vessels,” and with that being said, they were really on their way.  It was really a team effort to get around on Max and Reggie’s part, for they had to use the oars to row themselves around while Betty merely used the water as a mirror to look at herself. Soon, they had cleared where the lake went into the ocean [imagine, all this with two birds!] and further they rowed. The rowing could have gone on forever [because no one was looking where they were heading to] until the real adventure began! Why it was just the day after they set off, and while Betty complained that Max should have brought along provisions, Reggie sneezed and lost his oar. This was followed by Max letting go of his oar to answer Betty. “Oh fiddle!” cried Max, “I lost my oar!” Reggie, turning red, replied shyly, “As have I.” Betty was flabbergasted! “This is ridiculous! A no adventure cruise indeed! A rather sour adventure not to mention! No oars, no food, no water fit to drink! I say, one of you must fly out in search of food and worthy water! Stop staring behind my back, what are you staring at?” and when she stared, she saw that same thing that gave Max and Reggie a shock; t’was a peculiar-shaped island of a peculiar size! It was shaped like an hourglass but was in forced perspective. It was small to humans like us, but huge to the birds in the birdboat. The queerest thing was that a gigantic pelican roosted on it. It stared at the birdboat inquisitively as the passengers stared back, equally as inquisitive. Max turned to his passengers, “Well, I suppose this makes this cruise a bit less relaxing than it was supposed to be,” and he was going to say more, when he heard the sound of crying. “I suppose I must investigate what that was?” and not expecting an answer, he flew up to the island to which there wasn’t really a good landing spot. What he found was a very strange hole in the cliff walls of this island, and he peeped inside to see what was in it. There he saw a very small owl, one that resembled a barred owl in many ways except its eyes were bigger. “You want hear some-king, big birdy you?” it said to Max. Max, unwilling to start adventures but having pity for the tiny creature, said, “I do, sir.” The tiny owl said, “I one of many owl of tribe, Woleri, and my name Contanwawn,” he swallowed hard and continued, “we sad inhabitants of this island here. We sad ‘cuz of pelican up there. She come and sat on island, squishing all us in holes, making us small, making island small. All this happen while great leader out, when he come back, he try scaring pelican off, pelican grab him and sit on him. Now, she carry us to whatever part of ocean she want, we can’t escape.” Max, smelling adventure but dreading the thought of one, didn’t know what to do in this case. Still, his conscience nagged at him to help these Woleri Owls. So, he flew back to his waiting passengers and said, “Due to a slight problem, the restful part of this cruise will have to be deterred. For these owls need our help.” Betty put up her wing and said, “Did they say ‘we’ as in you, Reggie, and I?” Reggie didn’t like the sound of this comment and said, “Not unless you really want to help,” and added, “That is up to you.” Betty didn’t know how to answer this but just sat in the boat contemplating. So, Max and Reggie flew up to where Contanwawn sat waiting and there Max asked, “What can we do to help?” The tiny owl replied, “One must go and lead pelican off of island and to some-king else that could hold her for a nest.” Max caught an idea as quick as a flash, “My boat might be able to hold her if it can hold three birds,” but he added, “one of the passengers won’t leave the boat.” “Unless she wants to help!” a voice called. Right in between Max and Reggie was Betty! This surprised Reggie an awful lot, because he had no idea that Betty would ever want to help! Max said, “Which one of us wants to lead the pelican over to the boat?” Contanwawn piped, “You might want to steer your boat a little way off, then lead pelican to it, for pelican might get suspicious.” Max said, “Well, this might be an adventurous thing to do, but if this is the only way, here’s my plan: first of all, we have to find a way to steer the boat,” Reggie quickly came up with an idea, “I could take up a huge breath of air, and someone could hold me in the water, and as I let go my breath, we could speed away.” Betty put in, “I haven’t been any help so far, I could hold onto Reggie.” Max continued, “Second of all, I’ll get the bird’s attention and lead her to wherever the boat heads, is that definite?” The plan was good, and no sooner was it thought of, then it was put into action! The boat with Betty holding onto motor Reggie, and they were off in a flash! Max got the pelican’s attention with “Ninner Ninner Ninner” and for the first time in I don’t know how many years, the pelican got up and flew after Max, the not very adventurous bird, with ace speed! Meanwhile, back at the island, the lead owl, who got sat on for a long time was able to stand up and shake himself off. All Woleri Owls cheered in triumph! Then, the lead owl cocked his head to the side and saw three birds, who had no want of adventure, return to help him stretch the island and the owls back to their normal size and stay as natives. This story, I told, was truer than a thousand bird tales. 

Proverbs of the Wind by the Wind from Edgar Treeknocker 

“Better to wake up on the wrong side of the bed than not get up at all”

“A sunny day depends on a positive point of view”

“Even the smallest of mice could grow up to become a giant lion”

“Fear is but the mind playing tricks on you”

“To be without friends is to be the worst thing that could happen, ever!”

“Never stop until you finish” 

“A smile is worth a thousand pounds, but a frown isn’t worth a penny”

“Fair Weather friends are like good food, here today, gone tomorrow”

“The outside is better than the inside” [I say this on behalf of the fact I’m a wind and appreciate attention]

“Talking is good, but listening is just as good”

“A built-up horse that is scared of everything isn’t as expensive as a straggly mule that sees through danger”

“The wind is only cold on the outside, I’m rather warm in the inside” 

“A cold ocean with fish in it is worth more than warm water with alligators”

 

 

The Actress, the Balloon, and the Great Caroon by RGH

Now, Jules Verne wrote some swell stories about balloons, hot aired ones most likely, but this is a short story about a balloon voyage like no other! It all started when Earl Chapnick and a friend of his, namely Ted Skemp, had this great idea; to sell out hot air balloon rides and make a little money from it, as Earl was sixteen and Ted was fifteen and were eager to start their own business at a young age that could go on until retirement. “What if,” Ted asked Earl, “I wanted to keep on the balloon business in the golden years?” Earl smiled and said, “If you want, you can carry on with it.” That subject ended when they started making their balloon. They used an old basket, a spinning fan run by batteries, and thousands of pieces of popped balloons and various deflated balloons. “This, boy, is hard work.” Ted puffed. “Yeah, but think of the adventures we’ll have, interesting people as passengers, and the destinations,” Earl said wistfully, “we could end up in China or Madagascar or perhaps, or suppose at least, we could end up in New Zealand!” Ted nodded and said, “Mebbe so, and think, if we was to go and see all these places, people would never believe that we were young teenagers from Bridgeport!” You see, they lived in Bridgeport. Anyway, with that being said, they went on with their work. The next day, during a craft fair, the boys brought their huge balloon over to where it could be seen and they eagerly awaited a passenger. However, with the excitement of the craft fair going on, no one noticed the two boys and their balloon, well, that’s what they thought until she came! This particular craft fair was greeted by an old home citizen returning from Hollywood, an actress by the name of Gertrude Winkelspecht. She has had a long and successful career in films, most being drama and romance, or as a kid would refer as a ‘boring kiss movie’. Her main parts were young lovers, herself being seventeen, but never really finding love in her real-life offstage. She had come back to Bridgeport to escape the wild flock of screaming fans and vulgar directors of Hollywood behind her, but unbeknownst to her, her agent Alfred McBullsey had followed her to Bridgeport and goaded by a famous film producer, resolved to talk Gert into starring in a film. Gert wasn’t aware of this until she caught sight of McBullsey ordering a coffee by a coffee stand near a needlework booth. Observing sneakiness, she ran and mingled amongst the crowd until she met Earl and Ted who were waiting for business. Ted was the first to greet their passenger, “Hello ma’am, I’m Ted Skemp, and the skipper up there is Earl Chapnick, we are starting a business in travel and accommodating passengers to their yen for seeing faraway places, may we have your name?” Gert answered, “I am Gertrude Winkelspecht, an actress who starred in movies from age three to now, perhaps you know me in ‘River scene’ or ‘Love never falters’?” Ted, who came from a family of radio and books, didn’t know what all that meant. “We have a reasonable fee, namely five bucks, so whaddya say?” Gert, who had the money but wanted to get on with the ballooning before McBullsey found her, said, “Can we just start the trip, and I’ll pay then? For I am in a hurry.” Earl, who was in a love at first sight mode over Gert, quickly said, “Why certainly Mrs. Winkelspecht, we can do that, right Ted?” Ted stared at his friend, flabbergasted. Gert didn’t waste any time to get in the balloon, for she saw McBullsey who quickly recognized her! Ted and Earl quickly got in their craft, and they turned the fan on high. The balloon was slow at first, to Gert’s horror, for McBullsey was bounding towards their way. Soon, the balloon lifted, and Gert nearly fainted in relief. Earl observed his passenger from blonde haired head to dainty high heeled foot. Indeed, here before him was the girl of his dreams that he never even thought of in his life! When Gert caught her breath, she observed her host from shaggy dirt blonde haired head to rusty brown booted foot. Though he was younger than she, she had fallen for him on spot! Ted didn’t notice the love connection going on, but he tugged on Gert’s sleeve impatiently. “Mrs. Winkel-Schmidt, the five bucks?” Gert remembered suddenly and dug in her dress pocket until she had counted out five dollars square. “Ted, do you know how to steer this flying watermelon?” Earl asked his friend. Ted responded as-a-matter-of-factly, “There’s usually strings that guides the balloon as slick as a dog on lash, why?” Earl answered dryly, “You said usually, what about ours? This particular jig doesn’t have a steering wheel.” Ted snapped to attention; Earl was as right as rain! Their balloon didn’t have the steering strings! What made it worse, Ted remembered they didn’t even have sandbags to lower away! Gert, confused, asked, “Is this apparatus fully built? Are we now just floating around aimlessly without a way down?” Earl walked up to Gert and gave her a careless, masculine smile, “Honey, we’re just floating until the wind puts us down somewhere!” Gert was mesmerized by his voice, but choked out, “How dare you call me ‘Honey’!” Earl said casually, “I bet in all your movies somebody must have called you ‘Honey’.” Gert, taken aback but still in a dream state, replied, “Yes, they have, lots of boys, but now is the first time it sounded genuine.” Ted, who saw romance the moment Earl approached Gert, and having no interest in love in such a gooey fashion, spent these next few minutes leaning over the balloon a bit downtrodden by the fact they were drifting away like a confused butterfly, until he saw and observed a forest. He got excited and said, “Hey passengers! Right now, we’re passing a very mighty looking forest if anyone’s interested.” Naturally, Earl and Gert were both interested, and they joined Ted in looking at the forest, and what sights there were to look at! There were pines surrounding one spot and pines scattered on hills and mountains, a herd of deer friskily playing in a meadow, and flocks of geese flying past the balloon with great and gracefully speed. Earl, with excitement pumping in his veins like water through a hose, put a foot up on the basket and pretended to be a sailor on a mast overlooking a vast ocean. Gert didn’t like this; it worried her that he might fall out and land hard. Ted, however, gaily sang the old song “Whether I Traverse” [see lyrics at end of story] as loud as his voice could lift. It wasn’t until Ted finished the song that Earl did almost fall out, and when it happened, Gert didn’t hesitate to faint. “Hold on Earl! You haven’t fallen out yet!” Ted quickly rushed to his friend’s aid and began to pull him up, but no sooner did Gert revive from her swoon, then the balloon was jerked downward and very fast! “Hold onto me, Ted! You shouldn’t jerk away just because of a breeze!” Earl hollered. Just then, he saw that he was pressed up against the balloon, a perfect advantage to swing himself back into his craft! It was just when this idea hit him, that suddenly, the wind changed with a rapid whoosh! Earl did swing back into the balloon, but on doing so, he broke a very large hole in the bottom of the basket. Gert was no help, here she was in a predicament in the case of one of her hosts stuck in a balloon that is wildly being tossed in the wind, and she was shrieking as loud as a calliope! Ted grumbled to himself about this as he pulled Earl out of his position. “You okay, Earl?” Ted asked. Earl, who thought all that happened was a mere joke, said, “Swell as a seal Teddy, but I see our companion isn’t!” Gert finally cooled herself down long enough to cry, “What’s happening?!” Earl sauntered to her and said, “As you know, Mrs. Winkelspecht, since this balloon is free from the cares of a steering contraption, so in case of a stormy wind, there’s nothing we can do.” Gert got very upset and said, “That means we’re in very real danger! You two ought to have checked all this before you offered rides!” Earl shrugged and said, “We’re all in the same age group here, and we can fend for ourselves, I think, so what could go wrong?” This was a bad time to say silly things like that, because of the fact that just then, the balloon came to a violent halt. This time, Gert almost fell over, but Earl grabbed her hand and jerked her back in. “Ouch! Tree!” Ted yelped, to which caught Earl and Gert’s attention. Trees indeed, for where Earl had fallen through the balloon, tree branches stuck out like a camel in a termite mound! The balloon, in the meantime, was still being pulled and tugged by a strong gust, making our protagonists tilt sideways. Ted was trying to tilt the balloon the other way while Earl was backed up in front of Gert. “Well,” Ted figured, “here’s a real adventure now! Now if we could just get down, we could go ask for help and supplies.” Earl said in a sawdusty sort of voice, “What supplies?” Ted said as-a-matter-of-factly, “Food, Water, mebbe a few things to add to our balloon so it can work better than it does now.” Gert, however, was trying to push Earl off of her, because the wind had them pushed up very close. “If you don’t mind,” she puffed, “please back up?” Earl did as she wished, but on doing so, the balloon basket tilted and pushed all three of them out of the tree, and the basket! Ted grabbed onto a hanging tree branch, but Earl landed on the hard grassy ground with Gert landing right on top of him. The wind stopped blowing because the balloon no longer blew in one direction. Ted swung out of the tree, landed on his feet with the finest of ease, and said to his sprawled-out companions, “You two dandy?” Earl got up, in a struggling way, because Gert didn’t let go of him, even when finally on his feet. Earl managed to say, “I believe I’m as nifty as a prize sheep, you Mrs. Winkelspecht?” Gert, still in a frightened stance around Earl, nodded yes and let go of Earl, gasping. “The worst is over now!” Ted assured with an air, but whispered, “Hopefully,” to himself which he shouldn’t have. For just then, the wind came back and right then and there, the balloon ripped off the tree and whisked away with the wind! Gert turned grumpily to Earl and said sourly, “Now what?” Earl, not one to lose hope, said, “I know as much as this: if there’s an inn not far from here, we will stay there, and then Ted and I will repair a new balloon with the right steering levers and sandbags,” and Ted asked, “What’re the sandbags for?” Earl explained, “That way we will land in a better fashion than how we just landed.” Now the adventure was by foot, and though not in the best of moods, Gert was glad McBullsey didn’t catch her. “For if he did,” she said to herself, “I never would have met such a fine, intelligent, and handsome young man as Earl.” They trekked about these woods unsure of themselves, because they were as far away from civilization as it got in Bridgeport. The wood turned to swampland, and now there were mossy trees and mud rivers and unsettling signs that read “Beware the Swamp Witch” and “She can see ya”. Gert was truly frightened, but Earl was enjoying it. The more scared she got, the closer she got to him. Finally, they reached a tiny inn that bore the inscription “Mother Nature’s Tavern”. Earl commented, “There isn’t such thing, God made nature,” to which Ted answered, “And He’s always watching us, I hope He don’t mind if we at least stay here for a few nights!” Earl nodded and turned to Gert, who, as you might know, was looking around herself in case anybody would sneak up them. “I suppose we could stay, just so long as she doesn’t find us!” Earl asked, “Who?” and Gert replied, “The swamp witch! That’s who!” Ted rolled his eyes and said, “Mrs. Winkelspecht, you sound like a gobblin’ turkey, there ain’t a swamp witch out here! That’s just a silly superstition! Besides, if they was a swamp witch, you would think that she would show up once and a while, eh Earl?” Earl agreed, “That is very true, and besides once again, if there was a swamp witch, I’m here to protect you!” Gert sighed with relief, and all three teenagers, with a small sugar sack full of courage in their hearts, entered the inn. It wasn’t much of an inn, a small lobby which served also as a kitchen and dining room, a door on the right leading to seven rooms: six on the left of the hall, six on the right and one at the head of the room. The head of the inn was Mr. Proft, a middle-aged man who seemed troubled by a mighty woe, who was gazing as if in a dream at a small glass box by a side window marked with the title “The Great Caroon”. Earl asked him what the payment was and got the answer, “Oh, no charge no charge,” as though Mr. Proft didn’t care or not if he was paid. So, assuming they were guests to anything they needed, the three teenagers walked into the practically empty hall of rooms and made do with the room at the head of the hall. It wasn’t a very exciting room, it was the size of a storage room, with only a very large closet and a bed by the other wall. Ted groaned as he said, “I sure hope the other rooms are vacant so each of us can have a bed!” to Earl, who shared his thought. Ted went down the hall to the first room on the right where he actually bumped into a girl coming out. This was Mr. Proft’s daughter, Kenyetta, and she was very startled to have ran into a boy her age thinking her room was vacant! “Gee I’m sorry, this your room?” Ted asked inquisitively. Kenyetta answered in amazement, “Yes, and how many of you are here?” Ted thought this question rather strange and asked, “Three, why?” Kenyetta answered, “I’m sorry, but my father doesn’t get a lot of business around here, ever since the swamp witch, Mossy Bossy Willow Tree you know, came around and my father lost the Great Caroon, folks are afraid and not interested to come by these parts.” Ted found all this a heap of nonsense, but he shook his head to show he was listening, and then he asked, “What exactly is the ‘Great Caroon’?” Kenyetta gasped and said, “The Great Caroon is, was, and will always be what gave my family honor! It was given to my father by his great ancestors before him, all who were kings, and it has always been a fantastic staple of our tavern here! Unfortunately, Mother Nature,” [at here as narrator, I’ll interject that I don’t believe in that ‘Mother Nature’ racket, but if Rankin Bass can toy around with it without feeling weird about it, I won’t], “didn’t seem it fit to have us in good business for so long, for soon, the swamp witch, Mossy Bossy Willow Tree as you heard, entered the swamp and now everyone is afraid to come around these parts. To make it worse,” puffed Kenyetta as Ted got edgy about all this talk though believing in witches and Mother Nature he did not, “the Great Caroon that gave my family fortune and good business all these years has been stolen from us!” Kenyetta went on and on, but she just then remembered her manners and introduced herself, “I’m Kenyetta Proft, and you?” Ted was overwhelmed with her rant that whole time, but he soon retrieved his cool and said, “Ted Skemp, Kenyett, Earl Chapnick is at the headroom and a Mrs. Winky-Stinkle or something like that, I forget presently, is trying to find a room that’s decent for herself.” It didn’t take long for everyone to get well acquainted with each other. Ted began to stop thinking Earl weird for falling for Gert, for he himself was in love with Kenyetta. They did a lot together then, why Kenyetta even had Ted interested in shirt decorating! If you’re wondering what that is, my family and I do it all the time; see, Mr. Proft, in the past, had bought shirts that were blank and Kenyetta, a fine drawer since eight, used to draw random things on them. Dialing down to four left now, she and Ted decorated them with the word “AUTUMN” as different thing in different colors. Ted made one for Earl and Kenyetta made one for Gert. Speaking of which, since they were at this inn, and enjoying every hour of it, Earl’s mind escaped from making a new balloon, but now Ted told him about the swamp witch and the Great Caroon, Earl wondered if he should do something about it. He told Gert, “You know why Mr. Proft is so depressed? His Caroon is gone.” Gert nodded and said, “If only he could take his mind off of it, he has done nothing but mope, even when we first got in, and you would think that Mrs. Proft, she made a fine lunch by the way, would…” Earl interrupted, “How girls can talk! Don’t you see we gotta get it back? It’s the least we can do for these folks, they’ve been so good to us!” Gert sighed and said, “I was trying to avoid your saying that, because the way you and Ted adventure is reckless!” Earl smiled at her and said, “I have an itch that somehow, or it’s just me, that you enjoy that!” Gert tried to hide a blushing smile, but she couldn’t. Earl cooed, “Come on Mrs. Winkelspecht, you know you just love it, we haven’t even adventured together that much! A swamp witch and a Caroon to fetch would make this an official adventure.” Gert pulled Earl closer and said, “A: don’t call me Mrs. Winkelspecht anymore, Gert suits me just fine, B: tell Ted if he’s ready, let’s find that Caroon!” Ted was all in for it, but Kenyetta wasn’t keen. “I won’t go but wear the autumn shirts before you fully take off.” So, that was when the adventure that was supposed to take place elsewhere took place right there and then! It was an eerie trip, but their autumn shirts did them a lot of good. Especially when they actually encountered the swamp witch herself! They were halted in their journey by the swamp witch’s personal guard told the three had to deliver an offering, something that fallen off a tree for a swamp witch likes a clean swamp. Fortunately, Ted had a bountiful pocket of offerings, because while walking, he found various twigs and leaves of interesting size, shape, and color. So, the guard lead them straight to the swamp witch, ignoring the creepy looky things that lurked around every corner, until there she stood! She was dressed in purple, green, and raccoon colors, and by her side was a very strange bird on her right shoulder that had three heads, a crow one, a raven one, an ibis one. The swamp witch boomed, “I am a great helper of Mother Nature,” [Earl, Gert, Ted, and I still don’t believe in Mother Nature, God created everything, but because I’m merely the narrator and the three were terrified out of their wits, we will, and kept, silent], “and one thing she and I like is a clean swamp. I am well content with your offerings and,” she added with a grin, “I can see you are lovers of nature by your ‘AUTUMN’ shirts.” Ted thanked God for Kenyetta. “Now,” the swamp witch continued, “What brings you to my swamp?” Ted and Gert were still nervous, but Earl bravely spoke up, “We are in search of the Great Caroon, for the guy who lost it can’t be without it.” The witch thought for a bit, and then, she said, “The Great Caroon of Royalty Past lies deep in the cave of a mountain, a cave of thieves, but the thieves are no more, so think really hard and you shall retrieve the Great Caroon!” Then, without so much of a wink of the eye, Earl, Gert, and Ted found themselves on top of a large mountain that, instead of it being covered in snow, was covered in this powder like blue substance! Earl said, “I sure hope that the swamp witch poofed us right next to the cave because I can’t find it behind my back!” Ted walked a little way while Gert who, though it wasn’t cold, was shivering and held on to Earl. Soon, Ted called out, “It’s right around the corner!” Earl and Gert ran around to where Ted was at and indeed, there was the cave spoken of by the swamp witch. The three adventurers, with songs in their hearts, approached the cave with caution, but didn’t go very far when Earl’s foot hit something that made a metallic clang, there as he stooped down to look at it, was the Great Caroon! Earl picked it up gingerly and held it up to his nose. Ted quickly grabbed it and said, “Let’s get it and go! Hey Earl, mebbe you’ll let me say I found it just so’s Kenyetta can think me a hero? Well, I am but…” Earl gave him a sharp look and said, “If you’re such a hero, think of a way out of here, back down to the swamp, and back to the tavern.” Ted said as-a-matter-of-factly, “We’ll climb down, how else?” So, they did just that but found it difficult. Especially since they forgot food and provisions and water, but now also, Gert heard noises like something was behind them. She finally passed out in Earl’s arms and gasped, “I can’t go any further, just leave me and keep climbing down!” Earl refused, “We’ll go down this mountain together! I wish the swamp witch gave us an easier route for both going down and up.” Gert said, “No Earl, I’m just a burden for you just let me tell you before you leave me, and you are I insist, it has been an honor having this adventure with you.” Ted, who was way ahead of them now, screamed, “Stop your theatrics! Earl’s right! We either stay or go down together!” Just then, something flew up to the mountain where they were and like the speed of light, landed right in front of them! “Teddy, do you see that!? It’s our balloon!” Not only that but driving it were Kenyetta and the swamp witch herself! “Climb aboard friends, quick!” Kenyetta called, and to cut a long suspenseful story short, they made haste! “Do you have the Caroon?” Kenyetta asked Ted. He almost forgot it but sighed with relief when he saw that Earl wore it on his head. “How did you find this Mrs. Swamp Witch?” Gert asked. The swamp witch explained, “After you left, this beast of balloon landed on my personal guard and after I freed her of it, I noticed how poorly it was put together, so with a little magic, I fixed up with steering ropes, sandbags and all. Then this girl,” she nodded to Kenyetta, “said she was looking for you, so we used your balloon to fly all the way here, I mean, I forgot that I had to bring you back from the mountain.” Ted leaned to Earl and said, “You know, since that Mrs. Winky-Speck signed aboard our balloon; we’ve been having nonstop adventure!” Earl pulled Gert over and kissed her tenderly on the cheek and said, “God led her to us, Ted.” Kenyetta and the swamp witch looked at each other in confusion and asked, “Whom?”  Well, I believe a conclusion is in order and honestly, this story was a pain to type! Kenyetta, when she learned about God, was inspired and the swamp witch was as well.  When the Great Caroon was put back in its rightful place, the Profts were no longer out of business, and they re-named the tavern to “The Great Caroon Inn”.  Later on, Earl and Gert got married and are now neither actors nor adventurers, but now are famed Bridgeport storytellers, famous for their story “The Actress, the Balloon, and the Great Caroon” or otherwise known as the ABC story. The swamp witch is no longer a witch, but now works as a doctor in Bridgeport under the name Dr. Willa Trea. As for Ted and Kenyetta, they, too, got hitched, having a wonderful career in shirt designing and ballooning. 

Whether I Traverse     by RGH


Whether I traverse over cedar or pine, where the air’s breath is as sweet as mine,

I feel like maybe we will get there, where that is I don’t know where, to Africa where the lions hunt,

or to New York where the baseballs bunt,

or perhaps over Asia where the rhinos grunt, but

I don’t care I don’t care exactly where

I traverse; I don’t care. 


Whether I traverse over mountain or moor, or places I haven’t seen before, 

I feel like maybe we’ll see places and smile at smiling unfamiliar faces, to Africa where the giraffes swing their necks

or to New York where the movie character treks

or perhaps Asia where lanterns are how people on holidays decks, but

who cares? Who cares, as we’re all unawares 

of where we traverse, who cares?


Just so long as I’m with my friends,

traversing along such dangerous bends,

I don’t care if the adventure fully ends 

or if I traverse at all, at all,

whether I traverse at all. 


Markalo by RGH

Gilda the Goldfish was the name of the toy that burbled excitedly into scenes in the ever-popular Baby Einstein “Baby Neptune”. This scene-stealing fish is actually in real-life a boy named Markalo, or just Mark for short. This fish has lots of spunk and pluck in his personality as his character in the show points out, for he was always in the other Baby Einstein character’s faces, literally. Aside all that, he couldn’t see straight sometimes [because of his crisscross eyes], he loves to eat chips and baby carrots, has a crush on Karen Carpenter, and sings just as good, but he is most known for being a rarity. The Gilda Goldfish finger puppet itself has randomly disappeared from the world of flea market and antique store, so it was a while before Markalo came to my house as a part of my Baby Einstein collection. However, a lady named Mappy Oakley who makes puppets [ Follow link at MappyOakleyPuppets – Etsy], who made me Isacc the Lion and others in the past had happily agreed to make a Markalo the Goldfish for me. His trip was quite adventurous, but I’ll cut a long story short, he made it in the mail the day after Halloween. When he finally made it, Markalo wondered what would become of him. It was then that Dad and I went to get the mail. Markalo was supposed to be a special Christmas surprise for me, but when we came in Dad blurted the name ‘Mappy’ out that made me suspicious. Surprise ruined! Mom explained that to me, and now Markalo is one of my most prized possessions, amongst other things. If you ask Markalo if all this was true, I assure you he won’t say no! 

This is merely Gilda the Goldfish, not as special as Markalo.

This is Markalo, how sincere is he? Ask him! Can you see the difference between these two fish?

                                         Dedicated to Erica and Aaron, who are true family to the end

It was a dreary night right down in Chinatown, Mom was waiting over in our duplex, Dad was at Tun-Lo’s restaurant trying to find a job, but I was in a mad dash to find Sherrilyne. Before I continue, let me give you a brief outlook on this situation; my name is Tattersfield, Max Tattersfield. We were born of French descent from my mom’s side, but since we had an American great great grandfather, that fixes up that we only know American, but enough of this. We used to live in hotel rooms and apartments, but since we had little money, we ended up down in Chinatown in a duplex with Tun-Lo, owner of Tun-Lo’s restaurant. I don’t complain about that, Tun-Lo has always been good to us in many ways, but it was Sherrilyne who was the problem. She had been a fanciful youth since birth [being three years older than I] and since Dad left his old job, she got into the dancing business “for the fun of it” she had said, “to make people happy and to give us profit.” All her dancing, however, made the young bachelors happy, and the profit she received was wasted on many a detestable quench. We all knew it, and Mom and Dad never approved. What I needed from Sherrilyne was the advent candles. Us being from French descent, we followed the advent calendar to the end and on every Sunday in December we lit an advent candle on the advent wreath to symbolize the five virtues of advent. There were three indigo candles, a pink one, and a white one for the center of the wreath. Sherrilyne had always kept a tight hand on those candles, but when Mom went into her room the night before now, the candles weren’t there. So, the only reasonable thing to do was find Sherrilyne and ask her what has happened to them, only I loathed the thought of this task. I knew where I would find her, at “Higgin’s Beer Bar”, and my parents always had reservations against Sherrilyne, any of our other siblings, and I going there, and being a Parent’s Boy I quite agreed. Still, brighter than advent candles was my determination for our tradition. I found the place a mess, with people lying about as if they had a battle and all beat each other and lost. Sherrilyne was leaning on the bar to where she turned her head towards me [which made my blood run cold] and gave me a sickly smile as though struck by a fever and couldn’t leave bed. “Max’s that you?” she slurred, “What brings you?” I said in a sharp tone, “Sherrilyne, it’s the advent candles. They aren’t in your room.” She looked alarmed at first, but then she wore the sickly smile again and said, “You look tired Maxy, why don’t you sit down and warm yourself?” I was wise to her tricks, “You know that you have been in charge of those candles for many an advent season.” Sherrilyne shifted as though she was uncomfortable about this conversation, but she managed to choke out, “Max, can’t you forget the candles for a bit and enjoy the warmth?” Had she had sworn treason I wouldn’t have flinched, but something like that was more than I could bear. “You don’t mean to say you lost them?!” I roared. She held up her hands and said, “Don’t press me Max, I sold them, sold them away to a girl who came in for a cheese stick and left.” I was aghast! I jabbered, “How much was it? What did she look like?” Sherrilyne, in a stupor, slurred, “I sold’em for three bucks and fifty cents,” over and over. I grabbed her and shook her fiercely asking, “Where’s the money?! I need to buy the candles back!” Sherrilyne chuckled a dumb chuckle saying, “I used that for a few rounds.” I let her go and left “Higgin’s” sobbing terribly as I heard Sherrilyne’s dumb laugh echo in the night. I didn’t stop until I reached “Tun-Lo’s”, because after what happened with Sherrilyne, I needed to see the kind, understanding face of Tun-Lo. I couldn’t go back to my parents without the advent candles! “What is wrong, young Tattersfield?” the kindly Asian man asked me. I didn’t hold anything back, I told Tun-Lo all about Sherrilyne and the advent candles. “And the worst part?” I went on, “I’m not so upset about the candles, I’m upset over Sherrilyne and how she had changed. When I was young, she was kind and helpful, but now she is thoughtless and selfish.” Tun-Lo said nothing for a while, until he said, “I know you are very sad about Sherrilyne, but you still have your wonderful mother and father and your equally as wonderful brother and other sisters. You are very blessed to still have kind, helpful, loving family members.” He was right about that. Just then, someone came into Tun-Lo’s, it was a young lady dressed like the girls and ladies of the early 1900’s, with dark curly locks and a warm smile. “Mr. Tun-Lo,” she said, “I’m very unsure about something, I went this bar for a cheese stick because I don’t drink, but I like the cheese sticks, anyway this girl sold me these colorful candles, and I don’t know what to do with them.” As you may guess, I told her those were my family’s candles and what we did with them, and you know, she got interested in it, and then, suddenly, she became one of the family! Her name was Erica, and we all loved her very much, and we loved her husband Aaron too, when she introduced him to us. We were a perfectly whole family with them, and together. This is a very good example of the advent candle “Love”. Family is love, just as long as people truly love you, they’re your family. “We lost Sherrilyne,” I concluded, “but we gained Erica and Aaron.”

Stories by RGH you can find...

This particular book has many different subjects with many morals and laughs, and in it you will find “The Love Drop Story” and “The Seed Story” amongst others. The link is https:/ / a.co/ d/ aIJkCXX. Also, in it is the tale of a pumpkin and how God cleans us out like a pumpkin, how animals made animal sounds during the time of “The Tower of Babel”, how Mozart invented the ABC Song [a fictional event], how owls became a Halloween figure, how a Werepanda is helpful to humans, how the hippo got to be, and as you can see, this book is a treasury of treasures that you just can’t pass up!

Edgar Treeknocker, I feel, is my greatest sensation. There are parts that might fall out of sense, but it is a fantasy of the real and unreal but is no doubt fun for the family to read together! The link is Edgar Treeknocker-Kindle edition by Hachey, Russell. Children kindle eBooks@ Amazon. com. Based off real things that happened to the door decoration on a tree in my backyard, Edgar lives in a house in and under it in a world unseen by human eyes. In this world are Goinglepondoos, Xotzeys, Rithmaies, and many others but they aren’t really mentioned until later. The main characters are Edgar, Judy the Star Angel [ a lovesick sort for the author of this story but also in love with Edgar], The Wind [ a blowhard with a big sense of conversation to match his appetite], and the curmudgeonly yet kindly Cownick [the creature who lives in the tree next door to Edgar]. As you read, you will find Edgar Treeknocker’s world full of excitement, romance, and fun, but all timed up with a soothing simplicity.